Contradictory Cliches

So certain proverbs/adages/cliches really annoy me. And I don't just mean the dumb athlete cliches like "I gave 110% on the field" (for the record, that doesn't make physical OR mathematical sense) or "I'm just gonna go out there and give it my all" (oh, that's reassuring...I'm glad that you feel the need to go out and perform given your $100 million contract!).

Nope, my biggest beef comes with contradicting cliches. Have you ever been in a situation where someone gave you advice and then after you walked away you realized that it really didn’t help you at all? Did you feel that the advice they gave you was not really for you at all, but more of the cookie-cutter, one-size-fits-all response? If you felt this way, you’re not alone.

We have created a saying for any given situation (especially when it comes to advice), and it has gone so far now that we actually have cliches that directly contradict one another! For example:

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder."
vs.
"Out of sight, out of mind."

We give advice based off what people want/need to hear. I know there is no real way around this, because we are just trying to help our friends with some encouraging words, but man these things bug me. I try and avoid cliches when I can and ideally I'd like to give some real, personally-tailored advice. It's not always easy, but I would really hate to just spout off old adages to my closest friends instead of some real advice.

Anyway, about a year ago I wrote a piece about this odd cliche phenomenon. Dug it up the other day and thought some of you might find it interesting. Obviously, pay attention to the contradictions:

Love’s Paradox

“Birds of a feather flock together” you said,
I took that line as fact.
But explain how that is true,
If “opposites attract.”

“Look before you leap” you said,
That kind of haste in love brings a cost.
So I just looked and she walked right by me,
So I guess “he who hesitates is lost.”

“You’re never too old to learn” you said,
So my love problems I tried to fix.
But I crashed and burned and now I think,
“You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again” you said,
Now this one made some sense, of course.
But I’ve just received my eighteenth rejection,
So now I say, “Don’t beat a dead horse.”

“Out of sight, out of mind” you said,
So these words I began to ponder.
But staring at her picture now I know,
That “absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

“The pen is mightier than the sword” you said,
That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.
No, I won’t listen to you anymore,
I think “actions speak louder than words.”

Anyway, I could go on and on about the problems with cliches and and how we need to be better about giving constructive advice, but I think I'm just gonna stop ranting about cliches now because...

Less is more...right?