Finding Your Way Through Tragedy

As many of you are well aware, San Diego was rocked this past week with the news of the murder of young Chelsea King. The story penetrated the city like a dagger, deflating the spirits of optimists, scaring the daylights out of parents, and rocking the collective running community.

This is not a blog post about what's wrong with the judicial system, or even a social commentary on the event that transpired (I think we have all heard more than we can stomach). We have all felt helpless during this horrible time, and I felt the need to write (maybe as self-therapeutic means) about a different angle of all of this.

Like many, this event struck close to home for me. I have always been a vocal advocate of women running in daylight. I have always bugged my sister about it, and now that my girlfriend happens to be a running all-star, I'm more vocal than ever. That being said, I have had a unique perspective into all of this, both through my own eyes, as well as through the eyes of someone who was (understandably) shaken, but admirably strong as she coped with the undeniable parallels of the story and her own running routine.

I have found that there are two far ends of the spectrum in terms of coping with this tragic event, neither of which has a healthy effect on your own life:

1) People (mainly women in this instance) are naive enough to think that they are invincible, that this can't happen to them, or that they live in a safe area, so they can continue their routine without having to even THINK about this affecting their lives.

2) People become overly paranoid, let this isolated event control them, and totally alter their routine to the point that they stop running, or they check over their shoulder every six seconds, or, worst of all,they stop enjoying running.

Now first, let me say that these are both totally warranted, legitimate ways to respond to such a horrific story, especially for those whom this hits close to home. There is no right or wrong way to handle this, but I do think there are specific ways to address this that are pro-active, productive, and intelligent. I know I always error on the side of being overly objective, and I try to infuse rationality at a time where it is virtually impossible to not be subjectively emotional. But I do feel there is a smart option.

I am an avid proponent of people finding a healthy medium between these two extremes. I think we need to be cognizant of the dangers that exist, and we need to be adequately prepared for them. I also think we need to live our lives in a proactive, not reactive fashion.

I think female runners need to run in the daytime. If they are running at night, they certainly need to run with a partner. If they absolutely see the need to run at night, then they need to stay in relatively well-lit areas, not dark trails. I am a runner, I understand the desire to run on trails, to run alone, and enjoy my own time...but we all need to be aware of the dangers we open ourselves up to.

That being said, I have learned through Julie's passion how important running can be to one's well-being. I know how happy and energetic people can be because of running. I would never want any of my friends to lose that jolt of energy and vivacity that running infuses into their life. And I would never want my girlfriend running scared.

So how do you balance them?

You do exactly what Julie is doing. You cover your bases. You sign yourself up for a self-defense class, so if God-forbid you need it, you know how to carry yourself. You encourage your friends to do the same. You are smart about where and when you run. You respect yourself, and you make decisions that make you comfortable. You respect the past and remember the lessons that were taught, and you use them to make you stronger as you run and live in the moment.

And most of all, you always remember why you love running, and never lose sight of that.